I'm a happy girl. I am blessed beyond words. I absolutely love my life. I'm not bragging. I'm reminding myself. I'm trying to combat anxiety with gratitude.
It's so crazy how one day, everything can be fine. I can discuss panic attacks and anxiety as a "been there, done that" situation rather than one I'm constantly working through. It seems to lie dormant until I've had too many good days in a row.
I love the ocean. I love being in the shallow waves (at least until a fish touches me). I love feeling it move and flow. Sometimes, though, a wave comes along and tosses you around. That's what anxiety is in my life - the unexpected wave that tosses me about. Coming out of an up-all-night panic attack, I can compare it to swimming underwater, and seeing the light at the surface. So close. So far. Just in reach. Relief.
I don't want to be the girl who always blogs about this, but it is what it is. This is a part of my life - but not my whole life.
I'm so thankful for the people in my life who are my security blankets. God has given me the best husband, mom, and best friends ever. He knows what I need. He always provides it. Though relief doesn't come as quickly as I often hope, I know I don't have to go through this alone. (Neither do you.)
So as much as I want to start to blog cute outfits or makeup favorites, I have to be real and share the not-as-fun parts of my life too. Why? Because this tiny space on the internet is my safe haven. It's my space to share my heart and thoughts. Here goes nothing, all over again.
So touching to hear your story as I too deal with what I like to call, the enemy, anxiety. Until you live it, experience it, you can't really understand how it can affect your life... and sometimes, control you. Breathe in, breathe out. there is hope. :)ReplyDelete
Love your heart and anything you share! I know this part of your life may be a burden at times, but by being transparent, you've helped many people, including me, be able to cope with anxiety and panic attacks when they come. I'm thankful to have you as a life line when I experience similar moments and so are other people. Also one day we're gonna be real friends and start hanging out! Thankful for who you are.ReplyDelete
I know how hard it is to share the dark things inside, but we all have darkness we hide inside, so please don't stop sharing your journey. We all need to know it's ok to walk through the waves of life, and we're not alone in our journey. Thanks for being brave. :)ReplyDelete