Monday, April 14, 2014

Rise up.

Admittedly, I'm not in the Word enough. I don't prioritize it like I wish I did or like I know I should. But I still believe that it's true. I still believe that God sent Jesus to save me. And you. To save all of us from what we deserve. 


Just thinking this week about Jesus and all He was about to endure, knowing that if He had to do it all again, He would do it just for me. It leaves me breathless. My heart catches in my throat. Even just for me. He loves me that much. He was that obedient to his Father. To our Father God. He never sinned, not once, despite being tempted. Yet still, He took my place. And yours. We are free because of His willingness. 

Look, I know this can be a sensitive subject. And trust me, I'm not one to try and push my beliefs on you. Just know, I want you to know this freedom. I want you to have eternal life. I need you to feel the overwhelming love and grace of God. 

I get it. People mess up. The Church (or people in your life who were/are only a fraction of the entire Church) may have wronged you. Your family may have made you not want any part of God and all He has to offer. Please, just for a moment, consider that we are all human. We can be a poor example of God's love. Plenty of times, we are. But (yes, of course there's a but) God is bigger than ALL OF THAT.

This week, this day, or even this minute, just consider that all you have to do is believe. God wants to forgive you and free you from the shackles of sin. He wants to redeem you. He wants to pick you up and put your heart's pieces back together. Miracles still happen. God still provides and comes through. You just have to let Him love you. 

You are loved immeasurably. No matter where you are, how you feel, what you've done, what you're going to do, what you've said, His love and grace covers it all. 

Happy Easter, friends. 
Love,
Jessica



Let's talk. @jesstinybird



Thursday, April 10, 2014

Chili Dogs and Panic Attacks - My Messy Beautiful



If you're reading this, you either a)follow my blog already {bless you} or b)found me from the Momastery link-up. Welcome. I'm happy you're here. :)

I'm not even a mom yet. I just adore Glennon and the truth she speaks. Plus, I like that she feels things as intensely as I do. So welcome...to my messy beautiful. When I first saw the information about this project, I knew I had to be a part of it. Why? Not because I have some intensely event-packed life to share. Certainly because I believe in sharing the real - the feelings, the experiences, the lessons - with people in my life. (That's you.)


If you've read anything I've had to post lately, you know it's anxiety-this or panic-attack-that. You probably also know that this isn't what I want to blog about every.single.time I post something. However, for the purpose of this Messy, Beautiful Project, here's my mess.

I love my life. It isn't perfect, but I love it. LOVE it. Intensely. (This is one of those reasons I feel everything so much. I remember the good things of years past all the time. Moments and faces that other people have forgotten or moved past, I cling to, still loving as the time ticks by.)

In the summer/fall (in Mississippi, this is one season) of 2010, I started having panic attacks. Randomly. Out of nowhere. I didn't even know what was going on with me. Let me be clear - I've always been a little uptight. Super cautious. I don't take many chances (other than telling nearly every boy I ever had a crush on how I felt). I just play it safe. However, I'd never had a legitimate panic attack until this time in 2010.

It was as if once I recognized the panic attack, it came back to visit on the daily. It made itself comfortable in my life. (A little too comfortable if you ask me!) 

I didn't want to take medicine. Really, I didn't want to need medicine. It got to that point, though. (And hear me - THAT'S OK!)

For a period over the summer, I was dog-sitting and house-sitting for a co-worker. I ate a lot of Sonic because it was close to her house. One night, I had gotten a foot-long chili cheese coney. I had gotten about half-way through it when I felt something in my leg. I couldn't have imagined a twitch or tiny muscle-spasm. No. My mind went straight to a blood clot. I sat there, holding the half eaten chili dog, waiting for the blood clot to go straight to my heart and kill me. But guess what...

It didn't. 

That's just one of those give-panic-an-inch-and-it-takes-800-miles-and-then-some scenarios. Anxiety and panic attacks are a part of my life. Parts that are better controlled with medicine than without. 

Though years pass, and the anxiety ebbs and flows, I am hopeful. I am grateful for the people in my life who help me through. They are gifts from the Lord, and I will be forever grateful for how they listen, talk, love, and help me through my messy beautiful. (You aren't alone in yours either, Warrior.)

http://momastery.com/carry-on-warrior

Also, G's book is now available in paperback. It's at the top of my birthday list, too. (My birthday happens to be in one month and eight days...)

I would love to connect with you further! Find me any and everywhere online @jesstinybird!

You are SO loved,
Jessica

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

SWL: you, me, us. Always.

Y'all know how much I just love people. Making friends (in real life and online) is one of my most favorite things ever. (EVER!)

Know what else I love? People who encourage people. People who let you know that your mess (past or present) is OK. You aren't alone.


Today, I got the chance to meet one of those friends (ERYN!!!!!!!!!) in real life as she and some of her friends stopped in Jackson spreading their So Worth Loving message!


(Also, I got to visit Thimblepress for the first time. Obsessed is an understatement. I want to move in. You can shop on their website - and you're going to want to!)

(If you know me, you know I died over the fact that there is a dog in the store!! And that gorgeous girl is Sara - an amazing photographer!)

(Stationery is one of my love languages, y'all.)


(Run, don't walk...these have been ALL over the internet in recent days!)


Just want to remind you that you are SO WORTH LOVING. No matter what. 


Love you. Really mean it.
Let's connect - I'm @jesstinybird everywhere online. 

Monday, March 24, 2014

Waves.


I'm a happy girl. I am blessed beyond words. I absolutely love my life. I'm not bragging. I'm reminding myself. I'm trying to combat anxiety with gratitude. 

It's so crazy how one day, everything can be fine. I can discuss panic attacks and anxiety as a "been there, done that" situation rather than one I'm constantly working through. It seems to lie dormant until I've had too many good days in a row. 

I love the ocean. I love being in the shallow waves (at least until a fish touches me). I love feeling it move and flow. Sometimes, though, a wave comes along and tosses you around. That's what anxiety is in my life - the unexpected wave that tosses me about. Coming out of an up-all-night panic attack, I can compare it to swimming underwater, and seeing the light at the surface. So close. So far. Just in reach. Relief. 

I don't want to be the girl who always blogs about this, but it is what it is. This is a part of my life - but not my whole life.

I'm so thankful for the people in my life who are my security blankets. God has given me the best husband, mom, and best friends ever. He knows what I need. He always provides it. Though relief doesn't come as quickly as I often hope, I know I don't have to go through this alone. (Neither do you.)

So as much as I want to start to blog cute outfits or makeup favorites, I have to be real and share the not-as-fun parts of my life too. Why? Because this tiny space on the internet is my safe haven. It's my space to share my heart and thoughts. Here goes nothing, all over again. 

Love,
Jessica 


Let's connect!  @jesstinybird

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Stand up and be brave.

I keep having things to say. Feelings to not ignore. Yet, somehow, I find a way to stifle them or put off writing about them until the feeling fades or the timing feels irrelevant. 

I see people who are making a difference, and I want to be one. Not even just because I want people to know me. Not any more. Because I know God has a plan. He wants you. He wants to rescue you. And me. And us. Every time.

Hope your week is off to an amazing start!
Love,
Jessica


Tweet, pin, insta with me - all @jesstinybird

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Just. Be. You.

I feel like my New Year's Eve of dancing the night away on Main Street in Magic Kingdom was the PERFECT way to start 2014. Why? Magic Kingdom. Disney World. Jordan. New friends. PERFECT! 




Besides the obvious reasons, it was fun to just be myself. Just 100%. Just dancing even if I looked silly. Just being my genuine-but-sometimes-wacky-self. Making new friends by just being totally me. 

It. Felt. So. Good. 

So in this first month of the year, I've started noticing that I get so fired up by people who just do what they want - just being themselves - no matter what anyone thinks. 

You want to dress like a princess? Do it. Life it too short to not use all the glitter and sequins you desire. 

Want to be a cat lady? DO IT. [Just try not to get to the point of hoarding. I really appreciate people who do what they want in a healthy way...] 

Want to read Teen Vogue and Seventeen and teen fiction but you're turning 28 in May? Do it. I am.  :)

Life is short. You are spectacular. Just be who you want and how you want. Beyond what any person thinks or says, you are so loved. Exactly how you are. 

Love you,
Jessica

Tweet, pin, insta with me - @jesstinybird

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Time lapse.

Picture this. A time lapse video of sorts. One person, centrally located, standing relatively still. The rest of the people moving, moving, moving. Making progress. 

I usually feel like the person standing still. 

You know what helps feeling like you're not the making the right amount of progress toward the right things at the right times? Not standing still alone. 

Y'all, transparency is my favorite thing. Sharing my life and feelings with friends is what helps me get through life. It's refreshing and worth it. 

I have a lot to work through and grow in spite of. 2014 is a perfect year to start. 

Love,
Jessica