Monday, February 1, 2016

Mimi.

Two Saturdays ago, we went to the shelter to see a dachshund we had seen a picture of. We met him, but there wasn't a connection. Then we saw her. Mocha. A little chihuahua mix. 

We had Shaw outside in the dog park, and Mocha was ushered outside to meet her. She was happy to be outside, and just pranced around sniffing. Shaw just wanted Jordan or I to hold her. She wasn't interested in being on the cold ground...or, now we realize, expanding our family. She looked annoyed, but she didn't seem angry or aggressive towards Mocha. We took it as a sign that she wouldn't really mind. 

We applied and were told we could adopt Mocha. We planned to pick her up on Friday. 

We bought new collars and a leash. We decided to call her Mimi. 

On Friday, before we went to get her, we bought blankets and toys just for her. We arrived to pick her up. We noticed on the contract that she was a little younger than we initially thought. (We heard 1.5-2 on Saturday, but she was actually only 9 months.) It wasn't a big deal. It was going to be great!

We left the shelter, and she ping-ponged around the car. We knew she was a different dog than Shaw, and we hoped for the best. 

Saturday, we went and bought new lawn chairs as our early Valentine's gift to each other just so we could be in the yard while she played. 

Mimi is super high energy, which is fine. She's a puppy and a high energy breed. However, Shaw isn't a puppy or high energy. We've had a challenging weekend to say the very least. 

When Mimi lunges and barks trying to play, Shaw sees it as signs of aggression. She bares her teeth, snarls her nose, and quickly runs away from her. Mimi has even chased her down the hall where Shaw cowers by the front door. 

After three days of this behavior, we can't do it. The look in Shaw's eyes is desperate. 

So many people have told us this is natural and to give it more time, but we can't. We feel like the best thing for our family, for Shaw, is to be a one dog household. 

We are literally heartbroken. We wanted to do a good thing. Please just keep your should-haves and would-haves to yourself. If you know me at all, this is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to go through. I love my animals like children, and this is the worst situation for me to be in. Obviously I care what everyone thinks way more than I wish I did, but this situation is hard enough on its on. Maybe we shouldn't have tried to expand our family. It certainly would have saved us both a lot of tears. I just pray that Mimi finds her real forever home fast.

I just keep ugly crying and telling her "I love you for always". 

This sucks so much.  I don't remember the last time I was this sad. (Even the way she spins in circles before she potties makes me sad now.)


I believe He is near, even if we brought the heartache on ourselves. Thankful for that grace to get us through. Thankful for encouraging words from friends who know my heart. 

Happy February,
Jessica

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