Perceived: (Para)Social Media (Part Two)

 

In part one, I wrote about my deep desire to be seen and known. Now, I want to dive a little deeper but also go a totally different direction. Part confession, part...diary entry? 

I've always been a magazine girlie...which led me to be a pop culture fanatic from an early age. From Tiger Beat to Teen to Seventeen to Teen People to Us Weekly to People to Vogue to Elle to Jane to Lucky...

[If I was a Barbie, one of the accessories that I would not come equipped with would be any sort of CHILL. I don't have any. It's not my natural state. When I like anything, I just know (assume) that I'm the biggest and best fan of it.]

Somehow, in my imagination, me loving these celebrities equated to us having something in common. Whether it was our humor, having the same favorite color, or favoring the same fast food chain, I felt like we were connected in a way. Then, anytime one of them released a fragrance or had a collab with a brand, I was undoubtedly going to support them! As if my loyalty (or purchase) was going to earn me a seat at a table...at a party I wasn't even invited to!

Reality TV and social media only made these things intensify in my brain. I loved the Kardashians (Khloe is my favorite). I watched every iteration of the Real Housewives. These people were celebrities, but they stayed active on social media and felt approachable in a way that other famous people never had.

They make us feel like we're alike. Like they're trustworthy. Like they...care? And sure, some of them do. Maybe all of them at one time or another. It was an odd thing to face -  knowing that we weren't actually ever going to interact beyond a "Like" or comment.

And if celebrities weren't persuasive enough, influencers were born.

Influencers are like the 2026 version of TV ads. Sure, some of our favorites respond to DMs and do amazing giveaways under the guise of "building community", but it has been a rude reminder to myself that in reality, they're just trying to make  a living. I get it - we all have bills to pay. It would (maybe?) be a dream to get to share your favorite products and make money doing it. I think I just have to be careful and be aware. It would be easy for me to become someone I didn't recognize by clicking one too many "Buy Now" links.

I should have realized when the majority of social media platforms chose the term "Follower" instead of "Friend" that it was a hint about the atmosphere being cultivated.

Slowly, over the last couple of years, I've stepped away from several of my former obsessions. I don't keep up with any Kardashians any more. I no longer base my schedule around my Bravo shows. Despite making those cuts, I still hit "Follow" and "Pre-Order" faster than I want to admit. Why? 

I still just want to be seen, known, and liked. I still just want to belong. I often still wonder, "How do I become a voice people care about?" And truthfully, my skin isn't thick enough. I even wondered if I should leave Blogger for Wordpress or Substack - as if my platform of choice has ben the hold up this whole time.

Bless my heart, I guess.

Taking a break from socials did me some good, I think. It made me more curious about parts of life not on my phone screen. I don't want to fully leave social media. I enjoy the connection, the giggles, the memes, and keeping up with friends. BUT. Y'all. There are parts of it that bring out the worst in me. I don't want to be mean or jealous or judgy. Those are the parts I'm learning to navigate and trying to leave behind.

I do hope you've enjoyed this odd confession as I've tried to make sense of parasocial media.

Thanks for being here.

TLDR: Be kind. Be sweet. Like what you like. Don't like stuff just because people on the internet tell you to - even if they're famous.